The “Lurker”

admin — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:59:24 +0000

“The Lurker” First off lets define “Lurker”. A lurker is someone who just stands there and says nothing. They either walk from group to group of people who are hanging out and just smile or laugh at the groups current joke and thats all they do or they’ll just interject at wrong times random statements or comments that have nothing to do with the current topic of discussion or it was just so off the charts that it made everyone feel awkward. So to help you not to be a lurker learn to read people by kind of pitching out different topic starters that deal with current tv shows or movies or music or news topics to help you see what kind of a personality type your dealing with. Note be sure to implement these topics at the right time so they don’t clash with what the current topic is about. Don’t jump in there with something thats completely random and that doesn’t mesh with the current topic. Feel the flow of it. Also don’t feel rejected if your topic is rejected by the group just think of something else and go from there.
Don’t just stand around the group. If people are kind of being quiet and not really saying anything its ok to walk way just don’t feel rejected still be confident realize that maybe you need to brush up more on your people skills. Find a group you think you will be able to connect with. Then once you find this group you’ll be able to learn to read, and understand people and different personality types better. Once you feel comfortable that you can move onto another group its ok go for it. This time maybe you’ll be able to read people differently and know how to engage in conversation with different groups/people. Also its good to research different topics about life. If you’re a video game nerd then research things outside video games and learn what other people like and read about it. Take note that a group of people who appear to not be video game nerds but are jocks then research sports. Like basketball, baseball and football just be careful to not sound like an encyclopedia. Then when you think you know what you need to know about sports then talk to the jocks. It’s not set in stone to whom you have to talk to or hang out with. Just find people who will accept you and will encourage you to be the person you are setting out to be. Just don’t the people define who you are. You’re an individual with aspirations and desires that are not the same as others. But having people in your life to encourage you is the best thing anyone can ask for.

Some Zen On Hanging Out!

admin — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 15:00:20 +0000

This is for those who are socially awkward and have problems when it comes to hanging out with large groups of people. If you’re shy, then you need to know that the amount of time you put into people is the kind of friendships you’re gonna have.
So if you’re shy and you complain that people are not reaching out to you, sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and force yourself to meet new people. Most the time people will give you the time of day so you really have nothing to fear. Go out and jump on some new adventures and meet the people who you think will benefit you as a person.
Anyway back to my main point. I’ve noticed people having trouble when it comes to hanging out with just two people or in big groups. Of course… you gotta count the different personalities that hang out. You have your Alpha male/females, your followers, your shy people, your indecisive people, your lurkers, your egotistical/prideful people and the cynical/sarcastic people.
There’s more to the list but these labels will help understand the different kind of people that hang out together. Also its always good to have an understanding of people and their personalities. I’d like to try and explain these different kinds of people or personalities.
You’ll discover that a lot of the people are more then just one personality, and well that’s okay because what I’m writing here is a unofficial explanation of these personalities. What gives me liberty to write this you ask? Well all my life I’ve been around many people and usually in big groups or small group situations. I’ve observed people and had a good time just watching people be people.
So now I want to divulge some tasty information to help those who are socially awkward/retarded. Now I’ve given names to these personalities and I think they are funny labels.
Here’s the list. The Lurker, The Conformer, The Geek, The Verifier, The Randomizer, The KnowItAll, The Eccentric, The Extremist, The Perfectionist, The Cynic, The Organizer, The Drama Queen, The Guilt Tripper, The Napoleon, The Shadow, The Antagonizer, The Alpha, The One Upper, The Laid Back, The Clown. Throughout this blog I’ll explain these personalities and try to give some wisdom on how to hang out with them. Note sometimes you’ll just run into a person who maybe just one of these personalities but you’ll discover thats rare and before you know it, you are dealing with someone who has multiple personalities.
Also I’m no pro when it comes to knowing the “ins and outs” of hanging out with people, but I certainly have 27 years of experience of hanging out with many, many different kinds of people. So I’d like to share what I’ve learned and talk about the people I’ve observed. It’s been a wild and fun experience. Now before we begin you should also take note that I’m not writing to rip on anyone, if I’m ripping on anyone its mostly me because I’m mostly a lot of these personality types so I’m just ripping on myself mostly. Please also when you see me in person don’t ask me what personality type you are because I’ll most likely be wrong and hurt your feelings.

Lets begin with the approach… First when encountering a group of people that you know, walk up to them with some confidence but not too much because then you might come off as too cocky. Have something prepared to share in whatever conversation is going on. It’s always nice to read up on random things, current events, music, art, movies, and other things that people may have interest in. It’s ok to start up a conversation and if fails don’t fret your friends will still like you.
But if these are strangers then always perhaps either do one or two things. Have a plan B topic of conversation or just keep quiet and not be offended and if they make fun of you then just brush it off your shoulders because you need to be a person who doesn’t get offended. It’s ok to just stand there and be in the group but here are some things to help you to not be a “lurker.”

Whats Up Joey?

The “Lurker”

Some Zen On Hanging Out!